We may wonder how we can love people but still hurt them. This paradox causes shame and sometimes erects barriers between us and the ones we love. We may be afraid to say that we love them, thinking, If I really loved them, I wouldn’t let them down the way I have.
Peter had once sworn his love for Jesus. But after Jesus was arrested, Peter protected himself by denying that he even knew Jesus. Jesus wasn’t surprised, but Peter had a hard time forgiving himself. After Jesus rose from the dead, he talked with Peter: “Jesus said to Simon Peter, ‘Simon son of John, do you love me more than these?’ ‘Yes, Lord,’ Peter replied, ‘you know I love you.’…Jesus repeated the question: ‘Simon so of John, do you love me?’ ‘Yes, Lord,’ Peter said, ‘you know I love you.’… Once more he asked him, ‘Simon son of John, do you love me?’ Peter was grieved that Jesus asked the question a third time. He said, ‘Lord, you know everything. You know I love you'” (John 21:15-17).
Jesus allowed Peter to affirm his love the best he could and accepted Peter as he was. In this way Jesus reduced the shame and restored the relationship. Shame and isolation can lead us back to our addiction. For the sake of recovery, we must not let our shame cause us to avoid the people we love. It is all right if we love others imperfectly-no one is perfect. But we must keep our love relationships together until we have had time to heal.
It is important to know that when we love someone it is a two way street. You are not always going to be able to make them happy in everything you do. We are born sinners, therefore we are not perfect in anyway shape or form. That’s why forgiveness is a must in a relationship. Forgiveness gives us the ability to become closer in our relationships and it is forgiveness that makes our relationships strong when we are equally yoked in the Lord. So when you put God first in all things in your life, your relationships will follow suit because God’s perfect character rains down through them. That’s a praise God!
God bless you all!